Skip to main content

The CroBar - London 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

 


Home Sweet Home. While I spent my formative years in Canada, London will always hold a special place in my heart. For the most part it's a bit of a dump, hideously expensive, and outrageously over crowded, but there is a certain "je ne sais quoi" to it that I adore. There are so many gems to be found at every corner in this city, and as much as the entire country runs on a "make do and mend" philosophy, its unbelievably simple to get from one end of town to another, unlike Toronto. A fresh coat of paint here and there wouldn't hurt though.

Since moving to Canada, I've been back and forth countless times. Those red eye flights across the pond are a bloody drag, but considering 100 years ago it would take months to cross, and you would have been lucky not to sink, I shouldn't complain. I must say, I don't find flying exhausting per se, you have little to no obligations other than to not be a cunt to the flight attendants, drink a cold one, and watch The Office (US version, always and forever). Admittedly though, traveling around others is the worst, and that's the exhausting portion of this miracle we call aviation. I've flown enough to notice that the very moment people enter an airport all common decency, sense and respect for a fellow human being goes straight out the window. My favourite part of the experience though is after landing and as soon as the seat belt sign is turned off, all hells breaks loose. Jump up, grab your carry on, put it on your seat, and now stand awkwardly for 20 minutes. Brilliant job people, no wonder aliens lock their doors when they fly by earth. 

It's difficult to talk about my home town without first mentioning how bloody fantastic Camden Town is. It's without question my favourite area in London. It's a little loose, little derro and run down, but equally just a damn good time. After spending heaps of time here over the years jumping from one food truck to the next, walking around the markets, digging through crates of vinyl and drinking endless mugs of tea, you could have trotted down to The CroBar. Sadly, much like many other establishments around the world, Crobar closed mid pandi. Obviously, the less said about that portion of all of our lives the better, but when it was in the business of slinging gin, it was very, very good at it. This small but mighty dive in the heart of Soho was the local watering hole for all the guys and girls that choose the correct team to bat for in the days of the Mods & Rockers. If you're unfamiliar with the Mods & Rockers turf wars, there's a couple docos online about it all. The Mods were very preppy, dressed smart and listened to pop, the Rockers, were as they sounded. It really came to a head in May 1964 though, and it all blew up. A massive riot ensued in Brighton, I don't think anyone died, but it was full blown chaos. After that, it became a little more commercialized it died off for the most part but the folklore of it all lives on to this day.

Back to CroBar, occasionally this tiny, dingy, poorly lit dive would have gigs and much like my adventures in Reykjavik, you'd only need to flog 17 tickets to have a crowd in there. Which honestly, is the best. Those club gigs with 150 people packed like sardines into a tight room that are frothing over every note are the best. Far better than putting on a face to 3,000 who are too busy Instagramming. Theres a certain energy that can not be matched or explained. It's electric. I was lucky enough to grace this place with my presence on a number on occasions, and from the fantastic jukebox, the cigarette machines, bottled VB, and having Trooper Ale on tap, a night here couldn't be beaten. Interesting fact about jukeboxes though, they got that name because hookers used to solicit their services to blokes at "music boxes" but at the time in Americas referred to hookers as "Jukes", thus Jukebox became slang and here we are. I know some brilliant facts on the terms "hookers" & "fornication" too if you're interested, but that's enough smut and talk on prostitutes for the time being. This is a dumb blog on battle cruisers, not 50 Shades of Gray. Quick note worth mentioning though incase my mother reads this poorly written and grammatically incorrect drivel on prostitutes, it's a service I respect, but have never solicited. #sexworkisrealwork and all that bollocks.

If you were looking for a quiet night in, this wasn't the place to go.

6/6. 

#RIPCroBar.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Public - Bodø 🇳🇴

  ANTHONY BOURDAIN ONCE SAID  “anyone who whines about writers block should be forced to clean squid all day” . Oui chef, I’ll head over to the seafood station for the foreseeable future. But, have I had writers block or have I just had nothing to moan about lately? Yes, the world’s on fire, but my corner of the universe has been quiet. I’ve been trying to avoid the news, ignoring the bad and focusing on the good. And the news is good, Hortons have released World Cup inspired Tim Bits that no one wanted, and last week I was given a Montana’s gift card. Things are filling up in Southern Ontario I tell ya. Ribs and salad for tea.  This weekend however, I’m back on my bullshit and on a flight to Oslo. Why am I on a flight to Oslo you ask? Well that’s easy, because yesterday I was on a flight to Bodø. I know, keep up. If you’ve never heard of Bodø, don’t worry, neither had I until I decided to scurry across the pond to see The Cruel Intentions play some gigs. I’ve been a fan ...

Ned Kelly's Last Stand - Hong Kong 🇭🇰

I've been feeling particularly uninspired as of late. I'm not sure if its the change of season. The weather. The news. Or maybe because in the 103 days between the first gig of the year in Thunder Bay and sitting in Hong Kong International, I used up an entire decades worth of serotonin and dopamine, and now I'm running on an oily rag. Maybe some fish oil would help? That would make sense though, between tour and vacations I've been in 17 countries this year, and if I counted correctly, been on 15 flights. Which frankly, is ridiculous. Touring is exhausting, and so is the well documented "post tour blues", but theres also the fact that since tour, and vacations I've also had to get a new job for a few reasons. Mainly because I wasn't getting paid. Pretty solid reasoning if you ask me, I work to get paid, not because I need the practice, and certainly not to be given a cheque and told "hey mate, please don't put this in the bank for awhile...

Virgin Rock Bar - Florence 🇮🇹

  NEW YEAR, NEW ME?! I've never resorted to uttering such bollocks in my life. However, maybe this year is actually going to be different. I usually end up writing these blogs by finding something in the world that annoys me greatly, having a giant moan about it, and then drinking it off in some bar I happen to upon wherever I’m travelling. I would say that my blogs from Barcelona and Lisbon were well written examples of this. I have one written about a certain phone company that shall remain nameless, and a bar in Victoria BC as well, and boy is it ever a moan. This time though, I’m going to change course, vier left, and for once, not be such a miserable prick. Yes of course, January felt like it was 812 days long. That fat orange cunt has ruined relations between America and NATO, as well as breaking international laws left right and centre. Continues to threaten to invade sovereign nations such as Greenland and Iceland. Canada as well. All while tensions with Iran and Israel hav...