Before we kick off, I'll admit I've been drinking far less as of late which is possibly a good thing for my liver and waist line, but certainly for my bank account. But in watching my waist line go down and the pennies in my account go up, it's made it difficult to continue my usual antics of sinking piss around the world, coming up with a few silly metaphors and of course, climaxing with me stumbling outta places before smashing out 4 or 5 paragraphs of complete nonsense about 'em. However, I get the feeling that society as had the same change of heart as of late, and as a result the non-alcoholic beverage game has levelled up huge! And frankly, I'm here for it. I'm closer to 40 than 30 and at this point the hangovers aren't worth it anymore, so if that means I get to smash a few near beers with some mates and then wake up feeling like a golden goddess, I'm all about it. Thankfully for you, this revelation has taken place after I popped over to Edmonton. So, let's get back to it.
I'm sitting here waiting for another delayed flight at Edmonton International so I figured I would put my time to good use instead of doom scrolling memes on insta. I've often said that Air Canada is the worst airline going, but Flair Air is really starting to pull through and steel that title from under their feet. Then again, neither can compete with Buddy Holly Airlines so I shouldn’t complain. It was my first time back in the YEG in donkeys years! Last time I was out this way I was touring as a LD/TM for a 14 piece brass hip hop band called My Son The Hurricane. Wild band, truly a soundy's nightmare but all up a weird melting pot of great dudes with a varied array of musical backgrounds and personalities but mostly, a lotta fun to tour with. It was a slight adjustment trading my 6 string for a few faders and a light board, but at some point on the run I'd get up during a track called "Pigeon Park", throw down a quick 16 bars and jump back behind the board. A truly weird moment in time for all parties involved, so thanks for working through that with me. From what I remember the gig in Edmonton wasn't anything to write home about and they spelt our name wrong on the marque, but they can't all be Glastonbury can they?
I came out this way about a week before I was playing the Calgary Stampede with The Lazys for a quick howareya, see a couple mates, drink some of Alberta's finest "Alberta Genuine Draft" and have a day in the mountains. Man, I tell ya, the Rockies are stunning and simply mesmerizing to drive though. Similar to the Swiss Alps, only with a Hortons at every bend instead of a tunnel and a speed camera. Thankfully the dogs at Horton's head office haven't figured out a way to corner the market on shit coffee and stale donuts in Switzerland yet, but I'd bet a crisp fifty they're trying. Prior to touching down, I sussed out a dive to grace with my presence and I tell ya, Five & Dive didn't disappoint.
Before I get into too much detail about their knockout brunch menu, colourful cans of Sea Change, and on tap Jager, the atmosphere in here is excellent. It's not a true filthy dive, it feels more like Dr. Feelgood's in oui oui Paris, which like I said there, has a fairly "corporate" feel to it, but there's nothing wrong with a clean bathroom and a debit machine eh. Their walls are littered with hand painted portraits of some of the greats and combined with a sound track that fell from the heavens and a menu that plays on all the bands we know and love, I was stoked. The cans of Sea Change were flowing but the absolute best part of this place was their brunch menu. First off, cheap as chips, but more importantly, executed to perfection. You simply can't beat real Mexican food made by a real Mexican, anyone who knows me, knows me gusta la comida Mexicana as they'd say. For all you honkies that can't read more than a Denny's Menu, that translates to "I like Mexican Food". Outside of my love for all things Mexican, the staff were also deadly good to us as well. I find sometimes the staff at some of these dive's I frequent can be fairly unwelcoming and frankly cunts in the heat of battle, which is a wild paradox considering the environment, but whatever, I digress.
I loved everything about this place, and I can't wait to get back there, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Small side note to mention, even though I said I have been drinking less lately, I still have my nights on the cans when nature calls for it, just maybe not as often. I'm not about to be some born again sober wanker. Moderation is key, and something I learnt that in some rather expensive therapy, which is some advice you can have for free.
6/6.
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